FINALLY.....I Made Something!!!

I've had a few really exciting, creative weekends lately -- I think my heart and mind are finally adjusting to the new reality of what my dearest friends are going to be going through.  Not that I don't have REAL LOWS.....but I haven't had the urge to retreat from the rest of my life lately.  That even in spite of some very difficult, frightening things for Cheryl. :-(  She is hanging in there, and feeling alot better now, she's even avoided a hospital trip for the past 8 days!  THAT is a real victory for her.

So, when not doing basic housekeeping and running errands for Cheryl, I've been tormenting myself with..... what else? .....PINTEREST!!!!
*Sigh!* The amazing, perfect, gorgeous primitive pictures on there swing me between elation and breathlessness (at the beauty) to sinking hopelessness (because I'll never really live with those things around me).  Haha!  Sounds like a new Mental Condition -- Pinterest-Envy: the depression and hopelessness brought on by looking at too many beautiful things on Pinterest!

Oh yeah, I've got THAT!!! LOL
But the cure for it, even if only temporarily, is to create something from Pinterest!  :-D

So I picked something that I couldn't "X" off my computer because I loved it SO MUCH......

I LOVE this light!!!  I love how it's rusty and has old wood on it, and the electric candles.  I've been dreaming of this light for months!! :-D
So I got on ebay one day and found a really old, rusty funnel (for $4!), and I grabbed it!!  I was even the only bidder -- people didn't know what a treasure they were passing up! (hee hee hee!)

Once that got here, I assembled the other things I had laying around that I knew would work for my light......

I had some old pieces of wood hanging around, those rusty candle cups were from another project that I never made.  And then I just needed the tools -- the saw to trim the wood pieces, and my favorite present (if you remember), my drill.....

I used a special bit that takes a chunk of wood out, and I thought I made it just the right size to fit on top of the funnel end........BUT.......
I was wrong......

I MADE THE HOLE TOO BIG!!!!! :-P
Oh well, I knew what to do!
I got a rubber ring that fit over the funnel end, but since it was black, I had to spray paint it with some textured paint I bought to make redware plates out of (someday)......

It came out perfectly!!!! :-D
And it worked just like I wanted it to.....

So then I had to wait for the electric candle lights that I ordered.  I wanted them to be SMALL and drippy and aged.  I looked around for the best bargain, and ordered them.  They ended up costing about $9 each.  But they included the silicone light bulbs, too!

It was hard to wait, I was so excited about making this light, but it only took a few days.  They got here just before the weekend, which was perfect because I was going to need Brian's help for the last part!! :-)

They had to be taken apart......

 

 

VERY easy!!  I undid the screw -- I was so glad they weren't GLUED!  That would have been trickier!!

I had to cut the wire out......

 

.....which actually was really dumb, because Brian had to cut the wires of both of them anyway!! LOL
I'll remember next time!......

I hammered the tin cups open a little (just cuz I like that look better)......

Now we were ready for the next step......

.....getting it all put together! :-D

This was also Brian's area, although I could drill metal and make recessed holes if I wanted to, but he's quicker and better at it......

No glue needed!!!

Next, he made a hole in the funnel to feed the wires through.....

 

That bottom hole was already there, and will be where we feed the plug-end wire into the funnel.
Now it's ready to be put together!!!! :-D
My antique jelly crock made a perfect "table" so we could staple the wires down.....

Then after feeding both wires into the hole he drilled, and feeding the plug wire into the bottom hole, Brian wired both lights and the plug wire together.....

 

 

 TA-DAAAA!!!!!

It's PERFECT.......

Actually, it needs a little bit more work.  You can't tell in picture, but the wood pieces are wobbly.  I just can't have that!
SO.....I glued and shimmed them the right way......

You can see I even used a level to make sure it was perfect! LOL (it's a mental disease!)
And I used my cut spool piece (another project!) as a weight to keep it in the right position while the glue dried.
The last picture shows the shims I put in to hold the "handle" in a solid up-right position.

Just FYI.....if I hadn't drilled the opening TOO BIG in the first place, I wouldn't have needed to do all this! :-P  Lessons for next time!! :-)

So to hide all this ugliness.....I decided to wrap it in twine!  It adds a nice touch, I think.....

VOILA!!!!!

So there you go, my tutorial for a rusty, make-do candle lamp!!!! :-D

It felt really good to be so excited about creating something!  I've felt like a real DUD about that lately, just not having the energy for anything as I struggle with my feelings about coming loss and the ache of caregiving.  Not that I am complaining one bit about my life!! 
I want to be VERY clear about that -- I know that in all this, *I* am the one who has it easy!!! 

However, the pain of watching someone I care about struggle and suffer, while I can do NOTHING about it, not even my prayers move God, takes an enormous toll on my heart, on ME.  And having to accept God's plan in all this is draining.  I don't want to give up MY plan!  Mine is better, can't He see that??!! :-(

Pat got good news -- she won't need surgery or any more treatments, and will be checked again in 3 months.  I guess that's good (although that was Cheryl's first post-treatment diagnosis, as well -- I didn't say that to Pat or anyone, though).  She was vague with me about whether her cancer is GONE.....and I didn't want to push her on it.  She is happy and optimistic, so I will be too.  I will put my fear for her aside, and concentrate on helping Cheryl.  Please PRAY for her, that God will be merciful and keep the pain away.  No one knows what is causing it when it comes -- it's NOT from her tumors.....I can't believe how much these specialists DO NOT KNOW about cancer and the human body!  It's really disappointing to me.  They have been baffled more times than they have had answers! :-P

Also, please THANK God for giving Pat a reprieve like we've asked Him to.  I am grateful that He has done some healing for her.  We are going to go up for a visit this summer, and I'm so happy that I'll be able to visit her while she is feeling good! :-)

Sooooo ---- I have been working on a few other things around here, too, which means I will have some more FUN posts and pictures for my blog!  YAY!! :-D

I hope everyone had a nice Easter, too!  Although I am deeply spiritual and very strong in my beliefs about God and Jesus, I am NOT religious, and have had several BAD church-experiences.  So we don't go to church.  But we observe and talk about what Easter means, and I am happy to see my children have such a strong faith and belief in Jesus too.  I guess we're doing OK!!! :-D

THANK YOU ALL, my dear online friends, for sticking with me over the many dark months on my blog.  You guys are the reason I didn't just stop blogging and bury my head under my pillow!  I thank God for you all!!  ^-^

Another VERY SPECIAL DAY!!!!

I have wanted to post for the past two to three weekends about stuff that I've been doing -- FUN stuff (finally), but I haven't been able to find the time -- I've been doing alot of running around for my dearest, very ill friend, Cheryl.  NO good news to report with her :-(

But I HAD to post about this first, I HAVE TO......

My precious Adam turned 18 last Friday (April 11)!!!!!!

WHERE did the time go????  He is my second/middle child, and has been a challenge since before he was born!! LOL  NO, I MEAN IT.....when I was 4 months pregnant, he shifted in my tummy and plopped himself onto my sciatic nerve for 2 months!  I couldn't fully stretch my right leg!!  I limped around the whole time!!
THEN, being my largest baby (1oz away from being 9lbs!), I thought he'd come early, but NOPE -- he was born almost 2 weeks LATE......I cried every day for that final week, because I was so uncomfortable and frustrated!! LOL
But then he was born and the REAL challenges began! Hahaha!! :-D 
Remember this picture?  Both my boys, so sweet and tiny (Adam is the baby! :-) ......

He LOVED tearing apart my cabinets!! LOL

And he loved his little plastic car!!!

13 months old and already walking -- he learned

 to walk just after he turned 10 months old!

 

 He loved water.....

 

.....and sliding on our banister

 (which scared me to death!)

You can see by the date on this old photo

 that he's just turned 4 here!!

Here he is on his 13th birthday!!

Enjoying a beach party with our family 

that summer, and already SO tall....

 

Having cake on his 14th birthday!!!

And here they all are when we went out this

 weekend for his birthday.....

 He got to pick wherever he wanted to eat, and it was Red Lobster -- GREAT choice!!! :-D

Now, for a comparison, here they

 are almost 15 years ago.....

......and again, just this past Christmas.....

(see he's taller than his older brother?)

SOOOOO many changes, HOW did that happen....??? :-)  They may grow into adults, but to me I still see them as those tiny children!  How God has blessed me!!  I thank Him every day for the gift of my beautiful children!

Happy Birthday to my baby!!!!

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Thanks for reading my gushing post about my Adam!! LOL  I can't help it, I HAVE to gush! :-D

 

I promise, promise to post again in a few days with some fun things I've been up to.  There may be some good news about Pat, so pray for that if you will.  

Thank you, my dearest blogging friends!!  Sometimes you guys are the only happy thing I think about in a whole day.....and I am SO GRATEFUL to you all. :-)

Hanging On By My Fingernails......

Years ago, I saw this book in a mail-order-catalog (remember those??? LOL), and I LOVED the title!!  It was called Everywhere I Go, There I Am.....think about that.....!  Isn't that so profound??  I was going through a real Learning/Understanding-Human-Nature kick (I was a young mom!), and that title just spoke to me about how I and so many people I knew, struggled with finding contentment and happiness in the wrong places!  My mom and I (my MOM-mom, not Pat) talked about that concept at length, and it's really a human truth!

And here I am again, living that same thing in my life, obviously NOT learning anything from my earlier enlightenment (or not remembering it).

So here it is: I got a little bit of money when we did our tax returns, and I wanted to buy some fun things on ebay that I always keep on my watch list, but never buy, because I can't stand to spend the money! LOL  So I bought some favorite things -- mostly pewter, because they were GREAT deals!  And a couple of other things too.  And now they are getting here.  Each weekend, when I go to my PO, I have a package.  I am accumulating the things I have been drooling over and dreaming about for months, and somehow, it's been a huge let-down when I open the boxes and get my hands on my treasures.

Everywhere I go,  There  I  Am.

The problem I'm having is that I am trying to escape ME, and the unhappiness that is emanating from within ME.  Changing locations, changing surroundings, changing perceived circumstances ("I need this pewter for my shelf!"), changing people even.....none of that can work without the person WITHIN feeling satisfied, content, in peace (through faith).  

So now I have the disappointment that these things I waited so long to buy and have DID NOT transform my life into the primitive heaven that I imagine when I look at gorgeous Pinterest pictures and magazine pages and picture trails/blogs (those that are left)......now I'm right back to being  struggling, pained LISA, now with more stuff..... :-P  *Sigh!*

Everywhere I go, There I Am.  I cannot outrun ME, or what is happening in my life (to the people I love).  I have to stand here and wait for the next bad thing to fall, and stand here and face it, and stand here and move into it all, to lay myself open so I can GIVE to those I love who need me.....and then maybe even have to watch how nothing I do will be enough to stop them from going away, from leaving me and their other dear ones.

That is where my life experiences (right now) and my purpose for my blog are at such odds --- I literally have NOTHING to share or give that isn't tainted with these terrible circumstances.  And I have NO creative energy to share or entertain anyone who comes here to read what's going on. 
I have IDEAS, and (now) SUPPLIES......but even if I could start a project, I don't have any ANY energy to complete it.  Why even do it???  Does it cure cancer?  Well, then, it seems like a waste of time at this point.

I'm still TRYING - TRYING.....I have several simple projects I could make, so I'm trying to decide to DO them.  I do get interrupted alot, with needing to go to Cheryl's to help her, or running to the store for something she needs, so it's not ALL MY inaction -- I do spend tons of time being very active for her and hers and my kids, which gives me GREAT satisfaction and happiness.

But I'll try to post next time with some pictures of something DONE here!
That's if I have the energy to hold up the camera to take pictures..... :-(

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Cheryl just got out of the hospital after a week, to help her with pain.  At least it wasn't her cancer spreading (she found out), it was just side affects from the drugs she is on.  She has started chemo, and had two treatments.  She is trying to "detox" her body with eating clean, raw food and herbs, hoping to give the chemo some extra healing power.  It's good to see her feeling better now that she is home.

Pat just had her last chemo treatment in her "plan", and is now waiting to see her surgeon the second week of April to find out the results.  She is feeling better and better every day, and has a great, positive attitude.  For me waiting is FEAR/PAIN.

I will post if there are any drastic changes to tell.

THANK YOU for your thoughts and prayers, my dearest internet readers/friends!!!!!  I pray God blesses each of you!!!! :-)

UGG!! Sick Again.....

....Of Course!!!

There's only so much stress a body can absorb before it starts to rebel.  And like I was mentioning on the APP forum (that I FINALLY got back onto, after 4+ months away), I am terrible about LOSS.  It's a real struggle for me to keep it from burying me in despair, and making me bitter.  It's that struggle that stresses me out so much.

So last night, my body just said "GIVE ME A BREAAAAAKKKK!!!!", and leveled me with a stomach-ache from hell! 
And then I guess because it doesn't trust me to take the warning seriously (and stop being so stressed), I feel NO better this morning. :-P  Blah, blah, blah!!!

This is a stomach-ACHE, mind you -- nothing else.  But the ache is awful, it's like having a hot bowling ball rolling around in my abdomen, and it makes me weak and nauseous.

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED, Body, I'm no longer stressing about anything, because I can't stop thinking about how crappy I feel!

Actually, I'm going to go lay down right now.....I really want to feel better tomorrow because Brian is home and we are going to be starting some changes in the kids'/main bathroom!! :-D
Maybe I will finally take some fun pictures to post......!! ^-^