A Heavy Heart.......

As you guys know, I've been dealing with trying to help some poor, neglected, sometimes-abused dogs from my neighbors.  The little rottie-mix with the broken leg has a happy ending -- she had to have it amputated because it was broken in two places too high up, and she already had the surgery and is recovering this week, then she will be on her way to her NEW home up in Pennsylvania!  As a matter of fact, she had that home the very day that her injury was diagnosed and her amputation was decided on.....some tenderhearted person saw her and her story, and wanted her right away!!!  I have tears in my eyes just knowing that!  What an amazing person, aren't they? :-)

Since then, there were 4 puppies over there and their mom (who is my Minnie's mom, if anyone remembers HER story from last Fall), who I really wanted to get out of there this week.  So I have had my boys over there looking and looking for them all.  By two days ago, I heard that no one knew where the mom or the puppies were, that she hadn't been seen in about 4 days (which was unusual), and I was starting to worry.  My rescue group contact was waiting to take all of them, and every night that they had to stay out in the cold (we've been in the 20's at night here!), sleeping who-knows-where, and not eating, was making more likely that they would die out there and I couldn't save them!!

So yesterday, after lunch, I started poking around over there myself, and sure enough, I found one puppy......

YAY!!! :-D
Then when my boys went over there a few hours later, there was another one there.....

Oh JOY!!! :-D  (she is snuggled next to ME in this picture - that's my black dress poking out of the blanket that is covering both of us!)

Both these girls are adorable too, they didn't want to get off our laps the whole night last night, and actually slept all night long with us!  Do you realize these pictures are of the first night either of them have been inside a house, and on anyone's lap in their lives??  You could tell they loved the warmth, too, because they slept all stretched out and on their backs -- they couldn't sleep like that in 20 degree temps! 

So I arranged to go today about two hours away to the rescue that was helping me with these dogs.....I could always go back again this weekend if the mom and the other two puppies popped up.  I was a little worried this morning, thinking that maybe someone had called Animal Control about HER, and had them pick her up.  So I called them and they told me to check the listings on their website to see if she was there, and I did, and felt relieved that she wasn't on there!  I didn't want Animal Control to get her just when I was finding her a place to go to be safe and cared for!!
Just before I left, I sent my boys over to the neighbor's to see if they were there, just in case, and they came back with another puppy!!!  TERRIFIC! :-D  They still hadn't seen the mom and the last puppy, though, but I figured she had to be around because these puppies were coming back -- she had to be with them.  Happily, I left!  I had the three puppies that we were saving, and by the way, my neighbors didn't know I was grabbing them.  I mean, they knew I planned on finding homes for them, and they were worried about me after their other dog had that broken leg that WE fixed -- they would have simply shot her.  But I was/AM finished asking.....I'm taking any animals away from there that I can.  If they get another horse, I'm calling Animal Control.  If I see goats over there, same thing.  Same thing for any animals!! 

So I hopped in the car with the puppies and my daughter, and we left.  I went down our long road, out to the main road, turned the corner to get to town, and there she was -- the momma dog.....in a heap on the side of the road.....dead.  As I came around the corner, I saw the orange flash of her collar, and the honey color of her coat (just like my Minnie's), and my heart sank.  It sank like a rock, and I started crying.  I pulled over and got out.....it was her for sure.....and I called my son to go across the street and tell those people where she was.  Those people who don't feed a dog enough so it has to go roaming around to find food; who don't notice for DAYS (or CARE) when their dogs aren't in their yards; who don't allow dogs in their houses, EVER, because they are "unclean", but still insist on owning dogs. 

I cried for awhile, not sobbing, exactly, but I had to hold that back because I could have been crying really hard.  Poor Emily felt really bad for me! :-)  I never even petted this dog, I could never get close enough to her to even call her to me.  But still, the shock of seeing her collar on a dead dog, and realizing it WAS HER, was just so upsetting.  All my plans for her were unnecessary now, useless.  I just never expected it.  We aren't very close to the road, and I was so sure she was around.  And she is Minnie's mom, and the mom of the sweet little puppies I slept with all night. 
But really, let's be honest......the heaviest weight on my heart is that I failed her -- she would be alive if I had tried harder to get her, if I had done it quicker, last weekend even -- I should have tried to get her last weekend.  But I waited.  I wanted to get the puppies first.  And that's why she is dead.  It brings tears to my eyes just thinking about it now.
I have such regret now and that's what hurts me so much.....why didn't I even try......

But, the good news is that I made it up there just fine with the three puppies I had (who knows where that fourth puppy is now -- somewhere in those woods?), and when I got to the girl's house, she had a bunch of happy dogs in fences that had access to her house, and they were all excited to see the puppies -- it was SO cute!!  They weren't all her dogs, she is just one link in the rescue network!  They were waiting there for other rides to their forever homes, or for vet appointments, or for transfers to other rescue events.  She said the little black puppy already had her forever home lined up -- just another hour north!!  The other two will go to the rescue's weekend event with the public, and she said they should get picked out right away, because they are the rescue's only puppies this week!  And these are all rescue-approved homes -- the BEST!! :-D

I am SO very happy to know that these sweet girls and boy are going to be warm and played with and loved, from now on.....I just wish I had saved their mom when I had the chance.

Anyways, now I'll be able to get back to my fun work around here, painting and urethaning -- HEY!!  Tomorrow, the weather should be warm enough for me to get a first coat of polyurethane on my floor boards (which are ALL stained)!!!  I'm jumping right on that!  I've been waiting for the weather to break for two weeks!  YAY!! :-D 
And I've got some penny rug plans that I'm excited to get to!

I'll be keeping an eye on my neighbors as well, watching to see if they bring any new dogs (or anything!) over there now, and contacting Animal Control as soon as they do!  NEVER AGAIN will I go through what I have for the past two years.

But my heart will be heavy for awhile, I know that, and there is nothing that can ease that but time.  I know I've done alot, more that many people would do for abandoned or needy animals, and I know I have saved MANY dogs (and cats in my pre-blog years), and I am grateful for all I've been able to do for the poor animals that needed my help.  I just wish I had saved her, too.