Friday, April 25, 2014

We Interrupt the Fun With Another Physical Setback......

I guess God must think I make a GREAT caregiver.....

Wednesday morning, Brian had an accident at work, and crushed the tip of his pointer finger on one hand, and cut off the tip of the same finger on his other hand.....

TERRIBLE, but he said it could have been so much worse......he said that if he had been holding that piece of steel just a little differently, it would have cut off ALL the fingers of BOTH hands!
I was/am HORRIFIED!!!

The worst part for me was that when I worried about why he hadn't called me at his usual time during his lunch break, and finally called him because I couldn't wait anymore, I was expecting what usually happens when I feel that kind of nervousness settle inside me -- a simple explanation and RELIEF.
That didn't happen this time, and it shook me deeply (I still feel it).  I am what you would call a Worrier: I always think of the worst that could happen, I constantly watch for signs of something bad about to happen, I relive the memories of bad things that have happened before, etc, etc, ad nauseam.
What makes that tolerable to live with is that I am almost always wrong, and I get to feel that relief, which uncorks the fear that builds up inside me so it drains away.
But this time, I was right -- something bad DID happen, which reminds me that bad things CAN really happen.

So we are thanking God that it wasn't worse (THANKING and thanking)(did I mention THANKING Him?), but it was definitely bad, no question, and the poor guy has a few rough days ahead of him still.  And even after he heals, that fingertip isn't going to grow back, which strangely bothers me alot more than I expected.  I guess because I am very attached to all parts of him, and I don't want to give any of them up! :-(  AND, I don't want him to have a stumpy finger -- I want his finger to go back to normal!!!!  Stumpy fingers are creepy!  (Except to my boys, they said Brian will look "COOL" now.... Huh??.... "COOL"???  Boys! UGH!!)

Naturally, I don't have much time to dwell on that right now, because I've been running around taking care of him and doing things for him that he can't do for himself.  Of course, by today, he was pacing around like a grumpy bear, and when I wasn't looking, cut the fingers off of a rubber glove, taped them securely over each bandaged finger, and sneaked into the shower to wash his own hair (I've been trying to convince him that I could help him with that, easily -- it was the only thing he couldn't wash on his own with plastic bags on his hands).
He didn't get them wet, but he paid holy hell because after he got out of the shower, his fingers were very angry at him for disturbing their quiet healing time, and began throbbing and shooting with pain.  WHY doesn't anyone ever listen to me???

So after a half-hour of ice-packs, pillow-towers, a neck-rub, and homeopathic remedies (YES, I use them -- they work!!!), I was able to put those angry digits back to sleep.  And I've confiscated all the rubber gloves that are left!

Through all this, I can't shake the feeling that there's a Disturbance in the Force.....I know this wasn't that bad, he wasn't severely injured, he doesn't have cancer.....but it COULD HAVE been.  And all while I was making lunch here at home, oblivious to what was happening to my beloved, completely unaware that a MAJOR injury almost happened.  In the Industrial Park that his company is located in, a man was killed by a machine at another company just last year.  HIS wife got a very different phone call than I did -- but I could have gotten that call.....

......and what if I DO get a call like that someday....???

It makes my soul shudder to know what's possible -- what other surprises are waiting for me in my future....?  Denial, I need to get back into Denial, where all the sane, happy people are!

Anyway, I had planned on finishing some "faux redware", but it's going to take me a little longer to get to that now.  And I happily have NO NEW UPDATES about Cheryl or Pat!!!  YAY!  No news is GOOD news with them!! :-)

I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!!  And keeps all the pieces of their bodies ON them! LOL ^-^

Monday, April 21, 2014

FINALLY.....I Made Something!!!

I've had a few really exciting, creative weekends lately -- I think my heart and mind are finally adjusting to the new reality of what my dearest friends are going to be going through.  Not that I don't have REAL LOWS.....but I haven't had the urge to retreat from the rest of my life lately.  That even in spite of some very difficult, frightening things for Cheryl. :-(  She is hanging in there, and feeling alot better now, she's even avoided a hospital trip for the past 8 days!  THAT is a real victory for her.

So, when not doing basic housekeeping and running errands for Cheryl, I've been tormenting myself with..... what else? .....PINTEREST!!!!
*Sigh!* The amazing, perfect, gorgeous primitive pictures on there swing me between elation and breathlessness (at the beauty) to sinking hopelessness (because I'll never really live with those things around me).  Haha!  Sounds like a new Mental Condition -- Pinterest-Envy: the depression and hopelessness brought on by looking at too many beautiful things on Pinterest!

Oh yeah, I've got THAT!!! LOL
But the cure for it, even if only temporarily, is to create something from Pinterest!  :-D

So I picked something that I couldn't "X" off my computer because I loved it SO MUCH......
I LOVE this light!!!  I love how it's rusty and has old wood on it, and the electric candles.  I've been dreaming of this light for months!! :-D
So I got on ebay one day and found a really old, rusty funnel (for $4!), and I grabbed it!!  I was even the only bidder -- people didn't know what a treasure they were passing up! (hee hee hee!)

Once that got here, I assembled the other things I had laying around that I knew would work for my light......
I had some old pieces of wood hanging around, those rusty candle cups were from another project that I never made.  And then I just needed the tools -- the saw to trim the wood pieces, and my favorite present (if you remember), my drill.....
I used a special bit that takes a chunk of wood out, and I thought I made it just the right size to fit on top of the funnel end........BUT.......
I was wrong......
Oh well, I knew what to do!
I got a rubber ring that fit over the funnel end, but since it was black, I had to spray paint it with some textured paint I bought to make redware plates out of (someday)......

It came out perfectly!!!! :-D
And it worked just like I wanted it to.....
So then I had to wait for the electric candle lights that I ordered.  I wanted them to be SMALL and drippy and aged.  I looked around for the best bargain, and ordered them.  They ended up costing about $9 each.  But they included the silicone light bulbs, too!

It was hard to wait, I was so excited about making this light, but it only took a few days.  They got here just before the weekend, which was perfect because I was going to need Brian's help for the last part!! :-)

They had to be taken apart......
VERY easy!!  I undid the screw -- I was so glad they weren't GLUED!  That would have been trickier!!

I had to cut the wire out......
.....which actually was really dumb, because Brian had to cut the wires of both of them anyway!! LOL
I'll remember next time!......

I hammered the tin cups open a little (just cuz I like that look better)......

Now we were ready for the next step......
.....getting it all put together! :-D

This was also Brian's area, although I could drill metal and make recessed holes if I wanted to, but he's quicker and better at it......
No glue needed!!!

Next, he made a hole in the funnel to feed the wires through.....
That bottom hole was already there, and will be where we feed the plug-end wire into the funnel.
Now it's ready to be put together!!!! :-D
My antique jelly crock made a perfect "table" so we could staple the wires down.....

Then after feeding both wires into the hole he drilled, and feeding the plug wire into the bottom hole, Brian wired both lights and the plug wire together.....


It's PERFECT.......

Actually, it needs a little bit more work.  You can't tell in picture, but the wood pieces are wobbly.  I just can't have that!
SO.....I glued and shimmed them the right way......
You can see I even used a level to make sure it was perfect! LOL (it's a mental disease!)
And I used my cut spool piece (another project!) as a weight to keep it in the right position while the glue dried.
The last picture shows the shims I put in to hold the "handle" in a solid up-right position.

Just FYI.....if I hadn't drilled the opening TOO BIG in the first place, I wouldn't have needed to do all this! :-P  Lessons for next time!! :-)

So to hide all this ugliness.....I decided to wrap it in twine!  It adds a nice touch, I think.....

So there you go, my tutorial for a rusty, make-do candle lamp!!!! :-D

It felt really good to be so excited about creating something!  I've felt like a real DUD about that lately, just not having the energy for anything as I struggle with my feelings about coming loss and the ache of caregiving.  Not that I am complaining one bit about my life!! 
I want to be VERY clear about that -- I know that in all this, *I* am the one who has it easy!!! 

However, the pain of watching someone I care about struggle and suffer, while I can do NOTHING about it, not even my prayers move God, takes an enormous toll on my heart, on ME.  And having to accept God's plan in all this is draining.  I don't want to give up MY plan!  Mine is better, can't He see that??!! :-(

Pat got good news -- she won't need surgery or any more treatments, and will be checked again in 3 months.  I guess that's good (although that was Cheryl's first post-treatment diagnosis, as well -- I didn't say that to Pat or anyone, though).  She was vague with me about whether her cancer is GONE.....and I didn't want to push her on it.  She is happy and optimistic, so I will be too.  I will put my fear for her aside, and concentrate on helping Cheryl.  Please PRAY for her, that God will be merciful and keep the pain away.  No one knows what is causing it when it comes -- it's NOT from her tumors.....I can't believe how much these specialists DO NOT KNOW about cancer and the human body!  It's really disappointing to me.  They have been baffled more times than they have had answers! :-P

Also, please THANK God for giving Pat a reprieve like we've asked Him to.  I am grateful that He has done some healing for her.  We are going to go up for a visit this summer, and I'm so happy that I'll be able to visit her while she is feeling good! :-)

Sooooo ---- I have been working on a few other things around here, too, which means I will have some more FUN posts and pictures for my blog!  YAY!! :-D

I hope everyone had a nice Easter, too!  Although I am deeply spiritual and very strong in my beliefs about God and Jesus, I am NOT religious, and have had several BAD church-experiences.  So we don't go to church.  But we observe and talk about what Easter means, and I am happy to see my children have such a strong faith and belief in Jesus too.  I guess we're doing OK!!! :-D

THANK YOU ALL, my dear online friends, for sticking with me over the many dark months on my blog.  You guys are the reason I didn't just stop blogging and bury my head under my pillow!  I thank God for you all!!  ^-^

Tuesday, April 15, 2014


I have wanted to post for the past two to three weekends about stuff that I've been doing -- FUN stuff (finally), but I haven't been able to find the time -- I've been doing alot of running around for my dearest, very ill friend, Cheryl.  NO good news to report with her :-(

But I HAD to post about this first, I HAVE TO......

My precious Adam turned 18 last Friday (April 11)!!!!!!

WHERE did the time go????  He is my second/middle child, and has been a challenge since before he was born!! LOL  NO, I MEAN IT.....when I was 4 months pregnant, he shifted in my tummy and plopped himself onto my sciatic nerve for 2 months!  I couldn't fully stretch my right leg!!  I limped around the whole time!!
THEN, being my largest baby (1oz away from being 9lbs!), I thought he'd come early, but NOPE -- he was born almost 2 weeks LATE......I cried every day for that final week, because I was so uncomfortable and frustrated!! LOL
But then he was born and the REAL challenges began! Hahaha!! :-D 
Remember this picture?  Both my boys, so sweet and tiny (Adam is the baby! :-) ......

He LOVED tearing apart my cabinets!! LOL

And he loved his little plastic car!!!

13 months old and already walking -- he learned
 to walk just after he turned 10 months old!
 He loved water.....
.....and sliding on our banister
 (which scared me to death!)

You can see by the date on this old photo
 that he's just turned 4 here!!

Here he is on his 13th birthday!!

Enjoying a beach party with our family 
that summer, and already SO tall....

Having cake on his 14th birthday!!!

And here they all are when we went out this
 weekend for his birthday.....
 He got to pick wherever he wanted to eat, and it was Red Lobster -- GREAT choice!!! :-D

Now, for a comparison, here they
 are almost 15 years ago.....

......and again, just this past Christmas.....
(see he's taller than his older brother?)

SOOOOO many changes, HOW did that happen....??? :-)  They may grow into adults, but to me I still see them as those tiny children!  How God has blessed me!!  I thank Him every day for the gift of my beautiful children!

Happy Birthday to my baby!!!!

Thanks for reading my gushing post about my Adam!! LOL  I can't help it, I HAVE to gush! :-D
I promise, promise to post again in a few days with some fun things I've been up to.  There may be some good news about Pat, so pray for that if you will.  
Thank you, my dearest blogging friends!!  Sometimes you guys are the only happy thing I think about in a whole day.....and I am SO GRATEFUL to you all. :-)