I guess God must think I make a GREAT caregiver.....
Wednesday morning, Brian had an accident at work, and crushed the tip of his pointer finger on one hand, and cut off the tip of the same finger on his other hand.....
TERRIBLE, but he said it could have been so much worse......he said that if he had been holding that piece of steel just a little differently, it would have cut off ALL the fingers of BOTH hands!
I was/am HORRIFIED!!!
The worst part for me was that when I worried about why he hadn't called me at his usual time during his lunch break, and finally called him because I couldn't wait anymore, I was expecting what usually happens when I feel that kind of nervousness settle inside me -- a simple explanation and RELIEF.
That didn't happen this time, and it shook me deeply (I still feel it). I am what you would call a Worrier: I always think of the worst that could happen, I constantly watch for signs of something bad about to happen, I relive the memories of bad things that have happened before, etc, etc, ad nauseam.
What makes that tolerable to live with is that I am almost always wrong, and I get to feel that relief, which uncorks the fear that builds up inside me so it drains away.
But this time, I was right -- something bad DID happen, which reminds me that bad things CAN really happen.
So we are thanking God that it wasn't worse (THANKING and thanking)(did I mention THANKING Him?), but it was definitely bad, no question, and the poor guy has a few rough days ahead of him still. And even after he heals, that fingertip isn't going to grow back, which strangely bothers me alot more than I expected. I guess because I am very attached to all parts of him, and I don't want to give any of them up! :-( AND, I don't want him to have a stumpy finger -- I want his finger to go back to normal!!!! Stumpy fingers are creepy! (Except to my boys, they said Brian will look "COOL" now.... Huh??.... "COOL"??? Boys! UGH!!)
Naturally, I don't have much time to dwell on that right now, because I've been running around taking care of him and doing things for him that he can't do for himself. Of course, by today, he was pacing around like a grumpy bear, and when I wasn't looking, cut the fingers off of a rubber glove, taped them securely over each bandaged finger, and sneaked into the shower to wash his own hair (I've been trying to convince him that I could help him with that, easily -- it was the only thing he couldn't wash on his own with plastic bags on his hands).
He didn't get them wet, but he paid holy hell because after he got out of the shower, his fingers were very angry at him for disturbing their quiet healing time, and began throbbing and shooting with pain. WHY doesn't anyone ever listen to me???
So after a half-hour of ice-packs, pillow-towers, a neck-rub, and homeopathic remedies (YES, I use them -- they work!!!), I was able to put those angry digits back to sleep. And I've confiscated all the rubber gloves that are left!
Through all this, I can't shake the feeling that there's a Disturbance in the Force.....I know this wasn't that bad, he wasn't severely injured, he doesn't have cancer.....but it COULD HAVE been. And all while I was making lunch here at home, oblivious to what was happening to my beloved, completely unaware that a MAJOR injury almost happened. In the Industrial Park that his company is located in, a man was killed by a machine at another company just last year. HIS wife got a very different phone call than I did -- but I could have gotten that call.....
......and what if I DO get a call like that someday....???
It makes my soul shudder to know what's possible -- what other surprises are waiting for me in my future....? Denial, I need to get back into Denial, where all the sane, happy people are!
Anyway, I had planned on finishing some "faux redware", but it's going to take me a little longer to get to that now. And I happily have NO NEW UPDATES about Cheryl or Pat!!! YAY! No news is GOOD news with them!! :-)
I hope everyone has a wonderful weekend!! And keeps all the pieces of their bodies ON them! LOL ^-^