Sunday, December 29, 2013

Is It the End of DECEMBER....????


I'm sorry that I haven't really posted in over a month......wow, time goes by TOO fast!
It doesn't help that I've been sleep-walking through my life since hearing that Pat has cancer.  It's been so difficult to feel excited, happy, joyful about the holidays or anything in my life.  I am just frozen with fear, waiting for some good news.

But I have no good news to report......about anything.... :-(
I have some NON-news, which I'm actually happy about at this point, but it seems like anything I hear, even if it's slightly positive, is tainted with worse news.  It's just so disappointing and painful.  That's why I haven't been online very much and haven't blogged at all -- although that seems rather selfish of me, now that I think about it.  Sorry! :-(

It took Pat WEEKS to recover from her first chemo treatment.  She threw up so much for 72 straight hours that she gave herself a few concussions, and has very little memory of that whole time.  Who knew that was even possible??  She actually only just had her second treatment two weeks ago, and they only gave her one of the drugs so she did much better.  She still is very weak, is losing her hair and has no appetite at all, but I get to hear from her a couple of times a week, and she is at home now.  She will have her third treatment the first week of January, and they will be giving her both chemo drugs then.  But I'm not thinking about that for now, I'm just grateful she feels ok right now and had a nice Christmas.  Right now they are telling her that they will evaluate her results after her January treatment, and see what progress she's made (if any) before they decide how to continue. (which gives me icy fear in my heart)

My dear friend Cheryl did not get the best news after her post-treatment scan, but she is trying to put a positive spin on it (I just love her).....they found a small lesion on her liver.  She was so disappointed and "frustrated" (her word) about it, because of all she's done and they've done to her, and to get to the end of it and have no cancer where it all started, or in any lymph nodes, but STILL a tiny spot on her liver, just made her annoyed.  I felt devastated, I spent that whole day after talking to her weepy and prayerful -- it just doesn't seem FAIR!  I want Pat and Cheryl to get better.  I want things to go back to the happy times they were before. 

Cheryl has been referred to a different oncologist, now that her cancer has moved to a different area of her body, and her herbalist has stepped up her supplements and diet changes.  She is waiting to have her new oncology appointment scheduled -- they don't seem to be in any hurry.....maybe that's a good sign?  She is looking at it that way, and she's definitely got a fighting attitude.  And after hearing what Pat is going through with her reactions to the treatments, she said she actually feels pretty fortunate.
Please keep praying!

So Thanksgiving and Christmas have come and gone.....I cannot believe how fast the time has gone from Halloween to now.  It seems like a week, not TWO MONTHS.  I guess because I've been so distracted, more so than my normal hyper-distraction, time has snuck by.
Do you know that I did NOTHING that I planned to do for my Christmas decorations???  No garlands, none of my dried fruits that I worked on so much, no displays that I dreamed about, no primitive fun, NONE of it. :-P  I barely got a tree up two weeks before Christmas, and that's the only thing I did.  UGH!  And I'm looking over at one of my cabinets, and there is still a dried corn cob in the bowl!  I walked by that every day many times and didn't even notice -- could I have put some pine clippings and the pomegranates that I'm drying in there???  Is it too late to do that?  Are pomegranates and pines a winter thing, or just Christmas?  I'm SO disgusted at myself.

Speaking of pomegranates, I've been collecting them, because Aldi's has had them for 65cents a piece all month (!!!) -- how many can one have of something before it's considered "hoarding".....?  Brian and the kids keep mocking me about them ("MORE pomegranates??"), but they are SO easy -- they just dry.....right on the counter.....that's IT!  Oh, I guess I did make one thing, a pomegranate/bay leaf "wreath" that I saw on Pinterest......

Ok, well I was going to upload some pictures, but Blogger won't bring up the photo-thingy.  It just sat there for about 2 minutes, and I was scared that I was going to lose this whole post!  So I'll have to come back and post some pictures.  I suppose I should get off of here now anyway, I have a few family phone calls to make, and I have to get Brian's laundry done for work tomorrow.  He's been home ALL WEEK, and it's been wonderful!  I don't want him to go back to work!!  Not to the kids exactly -- he has a few more rules than their ditzy mom! Haha!! -- but we've had a close family time that has been so special.  I thank God for that. :-)

Now the New Year is almost here!  Yikes!!  I have tons of appointments and errands in the next two days, but I'm going to try to get back on here with some pictures.  I hope you guys can bear with me while I try to find my footing in all of this uncertainty and fear.  I have NOT turned into the kind of blogger I first started out to be.....I'm disappointed in myself for that as well..... *Sigh!*
I promise to try and find something to offer my blog readers -- just hang in there with me! ^-^

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!

.....ALREADY???.....

I can't believe how fast time has gone!

And I am SO SORRY I haven't posted once, I have just not been on the computer, except maybe for Pinterest recipes and to pay bills.  I am only making this a short post, just for Christmas, but I promise a Real one by the weekend!  Let me just say that for right now, things are in limbo --- neither bad nor good, and I'm actually pleased and relieved by that (for Pat)!  Please just keep praying that God will intervene and heal her.  We won't get any update on how her treatments are working until mid-January, so as long as she can stay out of the hospital, all is well.  It's the little victories that make me grateful and give me HOPE. 

I want to say a special Thank You to my friends who have emailed me privately -- that has meant SO MUCH!!!!  I am sorry that I don't email back quickly, but I love the emails, and I feel so blessed to have such caring people in my life.....ALL of you!! :-)

And I wish and pray that you all have a wonderful, joyful Christmas tomorrow!!!!
From ME, with love! ^-^

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Faith and Prayer.....

Please continue to pray for my dear Pat -- she had a terrible reaction to her first chemo treatment, and she is still having problems a week later, and is still in the hospital. :-(  She keeps sending me little email messages here and there, and her concern is with making ME feel ok.....can you believe that??  That is what a caring, protective person she is -- she doesn't want ME to worry about HER.  I can only hope that I would ever be able to live up to her example if I go though something so treacherous someday!

Also, my friend Cheryl has an appointment in two weeks with her doctor about her post-treatment scan.  The only thing he would tell the nurse to tell her was "there is improvement".  That really irritates both of us!  Why make the appointment about the scan 4 weeks after it if there is only "improvement"??  PLUS.....the nurse told her all her blood work numbers look GREAT, like pre-cancer levels.  So she and I have decided we are going to feel guardedly optimistic about her results!! :-)

I am still NOT on my computer very much, even my Pinterest activity is VERY reduced.  I am having a hard time finding excitement or JOY about my insignificant little pursuits around here.  I haven't finished painting my kitchen cabinets......SO???  I haven't made a pomegranate wreath I was so excited about......SO???  I haven't taken any pictures of the things I thought were really fun around here, before.....SO??? *sigh!*

Like I said before, I really struggle with LOSS and my faith in a loving God.  Along with my prayers of "PLEASE, PLEASE heal/protect my loved ones!!!", I always have to pray that He will help me to trust Him even when I don't get the answers I want (which has happened alot).  So this morning, as I was trying to clean up my browser pages that I keep leaving open (I bet I have over 100 windows open!), I saw part of this pin underneath my pin of a recipe, and I clicked on it......

Here's the link to Pinterest..... http://www.pinterest.com/pin/508132770428580592/

I think God put it right there for me to see!!
The last part is what really spoke to what I feel and need in my life when I cannot understand God -- "I may not be able to see the BLESSING in this situation, but I ask You for the STRENGTH to accept it as it is...."

Seeing this pin after many days of praying that God will help my faith stay strong tells me that God IS listening to me, He IS in control of this situation, and He DOES want me to keep my faith strong!  I am SO GRATEFUL that He answered my prayer this way!!

So I wanted to post this in case it could help anyone else who might read this.  Plus, I really wanted to point out what God has done for ME -- His puny, whiny, faith-questioning child.  When I reached out to Him, He was RIGHT THERE.  FOR ME.  And since I have no problems complaining loudly, I absolutely had to THANK Him "loudly", as well!

So I will continue to plod along, praying for healing and strength, and TRUSTING that God is at work here.  I don't think this will give me my JOY back, but it has given me comfort and a stronger faith.  That's my stepping stone to JOY!! :-) 
Thank You, God!

Thursday, November 14, 2013

BETTER News....!!

I've been trying to write this for two days, but my internet is bugging out again.....but it's all good because I have MUCH BETTER NEWS than the last time I posted!

It turns out that the person who told Pat that there was nothing that could be done for her with cancer cells in her lung fluid was the Lab Tech.....the next day, her doctor came in and said that person had "spoken out-of-turn" (I personally think he should be FIRED), and that he wasn't surprised about the cancer cells found, and that no one should panic, she will go ahead with her chemo treatments as scheduled, and he is still very optimistic that her cancer will respond well to treatment.

PHEW!!!  I know that we're actually only back to square two, where she was before, but boy, that's better than the end square I thought she was at!  And that errant Lab Tech should get a reprimand AT LEAST -- I cried all that night and the next morning until my sister called me back with the REAL story, and imagine what it did to Pat!

So I talked to her sister last night, and Pat is able to go home today, but they are going to give her her first chemo treatment today (which takes a while), and then watch her after before letting her leave.  But she will be home tomorrow at the latest!  YAY!!  I think it will really make a difference in her mood to be HOME, and she only has her treatments every 3 weeks, so she will have plenty of time to recover in between (if she needs to), and to work on positive thinking!  Plus I'll be able to talk to her again.

I am so relieved that I have something GOOD to report -- this was the thing I was going to post about last time, until my sister blindsided me with the terrible comments from that Lab guy.  I am feeling hopeful and positive about this for her, and I know how to pray now -- not for God to give me the strength to handle losing her, but for her to have comfort and complete healing.....AND I should probably keep praying that God will help me with my faith in Him when He doesn't answer my prayers the way I want.  I have really struggled with that when people I love have died. (Or when shootings or bombing take place)  But I want to do better at that! 

THANK YOU ALL AGAIN for the comments of support and prayers!!!  I have to keep thanking you all, because I am always SO touched and comforted by everything you do!!  It really means SO MUCH! :-)

And PS to Stacey -- Thank you so much for your story!  That was the first thing that started making me feel better, even before the revised news got to me, and you are right, it sounds very similar!  I've passed along everything you said to Pat, my dad, and her sister, and it actually looks like now they were planning on treating her almost the same way -- now I will just pray that she gets the results your sister got!!  I will pray that she will have complete healing after all her treatments.  Blessings and hugs to you and your sister, too, from me! 

Monday, November 11, 2013

It Cannot Get Any Worse......

Pat has had a hard time since her surgery.  She was supposed to be released last week, but complications started almost immediately.  The most serious was fluid in her lungs, which they thought might be pneumonia, so they whisked her right away for xrays/scans and to take a sample of the fluid.  We were so relieved it wasn't pneumonia, and she started feeling better two days ago, and started eating better.  Then her doctor told her that the cancer was actually a "very treatable" kind, and I started to have some hope that she would have a miracle and God would let me have her with me for awhile longer.

Then.....TODAY......the pathology came back on the fluid in her lungs.....

There are cancer cells in it.
So now the doctor said there is basically nothing else they can do for her.  Her cancer is Stage 4.

I can't imagine the mood in her hospital room right now.  How do we wrap our minds around this?  How do we COPE with this reality???  HOW does someone feel healthy and happy with their life in the beginning of October and end up with a death sentence 6 weeks later?

She may never even leave the hospital.

My heart feels like it's been brutalized, aching so deeply I can hardly breathe.
I can't believe that this is happening to us, to her.  It's not true!  It CAN'T BE TRUE.

I'm still waiting to talk to her -- I called and left her a message as soon as my sister called me with the news, but I'm sure she isn't ready to talk to me yet.  All we can do is cry together.

I will be going up there as soon as I know what is going to happen next -- will she stay in the hospital?  Will she feel good enough to go home for a while?  Should she have hospice care yet?
I don't want to get in the way of anyone while I'm up there, I just want to BE with her and hold her hand, and do anything she asks me to.  That's my prayer now......that God will allow me to be with her, if only for a little bit, and be a blessing to her.
PLEASE, Lord!  Let me have that one last connection with her, one more memory for me to savor!


THANK YOU, THANK YOU, EVERYONE for your comments and emails of love and support for me.  They mean SO MUCH to me, and are so comforting to me!  I treasure every one, and I treasure ALL my blogging friends, even those who don't comment but are still praying and thinking of me!  I wish I could put into words how wonderful you all are to me.  THANK YOU!

Monday, November 4, 2013

Devastated......

Thank you everyone who commented, and even those who didn't comment but are there -- it eases my heart to know that dear caring friends are praying for my stepmom, Pat.

She had surgery today to remove the cancer, before starting chemo, but the results are BAD.......they couldn't remove all the cancer because it is everywhere in her abdomen, it is attached to too many other organs.

This is the absolute OPPOSITE of what I was hoping God would allow.  This is NO answer to prayer for me.  I guess the plan is to start chemo, hoping it will shrink the cancer and they will be able to operate again and take it out.  I want to keep praying and begging God to answer my prayer for her, but WHY, when I know He already has His plan in motion.  He isn't going to alter what His plan is for Pat because *I* don't like it.
So how to pray???  For grace?  For comfort?  To keep my faith as He drags me down a very painful, unwanted path.....??

I continue to beg Him, of course, that she will be the 1 in 100 to receive a diagnosis like this and get treatment and go into remission, and then joy and happiness can return to us all.  I will hang on to that thread of hope.

Please continue to pray.  And THANK YOU ALL from the deepest part of my heart!

Friday, November 1, 2013

Sadness.......

I've been trying to write this post for over a week......

First, I am SO SORRY that I haven't posted in almost a month.  I was starting to really feel inspired after my birthday, especially with Fall starting here, and the trees changing colors.  I'm really disappointed in my blogging efforts all this year..... :-P

Sadly, two weeks ago, we found out my stepmom has stage 3 ovarian cancer, and will have to go through surgery and chemo.  I am devastated.  It's all the more difficult because she is almost 1000 miles away from me (in Mass), so HOW can I be there?  How can I hold her hand or hug her or HELP her AT ALL???

And don't let the word "stepmom" mislead you about what she is to me -- my parents separated and then divorced by the time I was 2yrs old, and they each met their significant-others soon after, and have been with them since.  So I actually don't have ANY memories of my parents together, all my memories are of two sets of parents.  And she has been such a loving, steady influence for me.  She has truly NEVER raised her voice at me!  She was always a kind, gentle teacher (and still is!). 
I have always believed that God gifted me 4 wonderful parents!!  What a blessing!

Her cancer is different than my friend, Cheryl's is -- they are both stage three, but my stepmom's is quite a bit more advanced and has spread further into her body.  

I just cannot believe I'm typing these words. 

I am terrified.  So is she.  It's awful to see her so afraid, after her being such a strong positive woman all my life. :-(  It makes me all the more fearful.  She is trying to be positive, but it's hard with all the waiting and uncertainty.  I know it's hard for ME to be positive -- all I can do is PRAY PRAY PRAY.....but my list is getting long when I talk to God.....what if He doesn't give me what I want SO much? 


So......I am not really going to be blogging or painting or making anything around here for a little bit.  All I've been doing is sitting on the couch, crocheting.  Somehow that makes me feel comforted.  I'm making a shawl for her.  Next I'm going to make one for Cheryl, my friend.  She just finished her last chemo, and she goes next week for her scans to see if her cancer is gone.  More praying.

I promise to come on and give updates when I get them.  I just need a little time to wrap my mind around this, and time to beg God to spare her and let us keep her here a while longer.  Until she finds out more about her cancer (after her surgery), I feel just frozen with uncertainty and foreboding.

I also MUST say that I am SO GRATEFUL for all my dear internet friends!!!!  You are my confidants, my cheerleaders, my prayer warriors......YOU are all a blessing from God to me, too!  I think I would be drowning right now if it weren't for my best online friends!!  And I thank God for you! ^-^


Saturday, October 12, 2013

Doing Lots of Little Things!! :-)

Well, I've got some painting done!!! :-D
I finished the kitchen wall that's been half-painted for months.....
And if you noticed, I finished the stencil that's been unfinished for years! :-P 
Ah, but there's a problem.....look closely.....
Can you tell....???
I used the wrong stencil colors!!! LOL  Ok, I'm not going to be too hard on myself, because I have (no lie) about 5 different reds that all look so similar.....
.....but I should have remembered about the blue -- I only have 2 of those!

It's an easy fix -- I'm just going to brush a little of the wall paint (Colonial Tan) over it, to dull it, and then just stencil the correct colors right over it.....but not tonight!  Haha!!

I also started on the lower kitchen cabinets, but I don't have pictures of that yet.  I'll wait until it's finished!
I am avoiding the top cabinets because they will be more complicated, and, well, because of THIS.....

Can you believe what a terrible housekeeper I am???  (Duntie, see what I mean about poor mousie....!?)
This is SO disgusting, yet I sit here on my computer instead of cleaning that up!! :-P  It's actually going to be a much bigger job than that, because ALL the upper cabinets are dusty, plus the shelf that is above the table!  *Sigh!*  I hate dust -- it's always everywhere!!!  And it always comes back in a few days! :-P

Anyways, I'm going to have to face that this week at some point, but I'll be SO happy when it's cleaned up and painted.  AND.....don't forget, I have those rusty tin panels to put over the glass fronts, that will look so awesome.....it will be a huge payoff to do that work! :-D

In the meantime, here are the pictures that were in that lost post!
I made a wreath for the front door.....
.....but hated it!!!  It looked like an 80's prom dress to me -- BLEGH!  And I said I was going to change it.
Well, this week I did......
Isn't that much better? :-D
The only thing I don't like about this is that it's fake flowers.....but I was at Hobby Lobby and they were expensive, but On Sale (!!!), and they look so real (and pretty!) that I couldn't resist!  I still feel like it's missing something, so today I bought some burlap "ribbon", and I'm going to wrap a little around it.  That should do the trick!!
That hydrangea looks MUCH better in a basket.....

Another thing I wanted to show was something my wonderful friend Honora sent me -- she has been trying to get Sweet Annie plants to me since the winter!  And she tried live plants several months ago, but they didn't survive, so she sent me A TON of branches of it!!
LOOK at how WONDERFUL it all is.....
(pay NO attention to my very sorry-looking make-shift work station!)I've been shaking the seeds out of them and saving them to sprinkle on the dirt once it cools off around here.  Then they should sprout up next Spring!!! :-D
She also sent me that bit of Bittersweet vine that is in the bowl on my table with the pumpkin and squash (that I love so much)!  I have never been able to find Bittersweet around here, so I was VERY excited to get that, too!!  I just love those Sweet Annie bunches.....I can't wait to put them all over the house and in some crafts I want to make!
Thank you so much, Honora!!!! :-)

I also posted about a new little antique shop we found!  It was one big room, and I found two treasures there -- look at this jug for $5......
And get ready for the MOST awesome thing......

This old box was $10!!!  I LOVE IT! :-D 
Now if I could only get going on making an aged paper box (that I've been talking about for over a year), they would look perfect together!  I also want to try painting/decoupaging that jug to make it look like pottery (I saw it on Pinterest.....of course).  It will be an interesting project.....IF I ever get to it!

Let's see.....OH!  I also posted about buying these to try drying out......
It's going fine so far -- I bought five all together, and after a couple of weeks, this is where they are at.....
And I also posted about some corn cobs I dried out.....
THEY dried out PERFECTLY......
Don't they look great?!!  I got more this weekend to do.....did I mention Brian and the kids think I'm "weird"..... Hahaha!! :-D

And I also did oranges.....
.....and LIMES -- what fun!......
(ok, with another orange!)  Don't they look wonderful?!!!  They aren't fully dried, so I hope they stay looking great like this.....sometimes they change when they are completely dry.

So THERE -- I think that's all the pictures from my "lost" post!  That was really awful!!  I'm still nervous every time I post now......I always "Save" it first, then go to the List to post it.  I can't trust Blogger anymore!

This week I want to get more kitchen painting done.  I really feel like making something, so maybe I'll try papering a box.....it's a little intimidating!  I don't know, I might just end up looking at wallpaper boxes on PINTEREST......that seems to be what I do most lately -- LOOK at things instead of DOING them! :-P 
MAYBE I can motivate myself this week....??? ^-^

Monday, October 7, 2013

Birthday FUN!!!

Hi!! :-D

I want to say firstly, THANK YOU SO MUCH for all my sweet and wonderful birthday wishes!!!  They really made my birthday more special, and I feel SO lucky and blessed to have my special online friends!!!! :-D  You all really do add so much to my life and my heart!

My birthday-DAY and even the day after was very fun and delightful!!!  We went to my favorite little primitive shop, where I got some fun things and even funner ideas! :-D

I loved this little rusty pot......



I got these pretty fall-ish stems to maybe use to fix a wreath I made (that I showed in my LOST POST) -- I'll show you that a little later! :-P -- anyway, these are pretty......



And I got the two little gourds to add to my pumpkin and squash and bittersweet bowl......
That's a sugar pumpkin, so I'm going to be able to make puree from it when I'm done using it for a decoration!  I LOVE this bowl on my table, it always makes me feel cozy!! :-D

THIS is a gorgeous resin reproduction that I LOVE, but no way can afford (it was $70!!!).....
.....but I took a picture of it because I told Brian I want to make one of my own with a log!!!
He thinks I'm crazy (actually "funny" is a better word -- he laughed at me! LOL), but I think I CAN do it!  I'm going to have him cut a log in half, and then I'm going to dig out the inside of it!!!  It CAN'T fail!!! :-D

And you know WHY I am so confident about it....???  Because of what Brian got me for my birthday present!  Wait until you see......
It's my VERY OWN screwdriver/drill that's cordless!!!!  You can't tell, but it's the smallest one they make! :-D  I never use Brian's because it's way too big and heavy for me, and it drives him crazy to see me using a regular screwdriver! Haha!!  Anyway, I LOVE LOVE this, and I already drilled nuts for a garland with it!
BUT, the best part about this present was that when he bought this, I got to pick another one of their tools FREE.....can you believe that?? (it was a "special buy")  So here's what I picked.....
It's not a great picture, but can you see how I will be able to use it to dig out wood from a log????  Haha, I told you it CAN'T fail!!! :-D

So that was a very exciting birthday for me, with such great new things! :-D  But then the next day, we were driving from the Farmer's Market, and I saw a NEW antique/junk mall, and we just had to stop and take a look!  It was HUGE!!  We only saw about a quarter of it, and we were there for almost an hour!!!  One of the things I saw was this little beat up table in a corner, with some of their tools on it.....but I loved it!  So before we left, I asked one of the guys who owned the place how much for it, and I think he was surprised that I wanted it! LOL  
He went off to see how much HE had paid for it (I think), and I told Brian if he wanted more than $30, I didn't want it......and he came back and said "$30"!!!!  I said "GREAT!", and we took it home!......
YAY!!! :-D
It was covered in mold and spider webs, so I wiped it down with vinegar and water.  You can see the real damage on the top, so I'm going to stain or paint (and distress) it, but not yet.  I want to live with it a little first!!  I should have taken a picture, but while we were cleaning it, we saw it had WOODEN wheels -- that's something I haven't seen before!  I thought they were little metal ones, but they are wood -- NEAT!! :-D
 
So there are my birthday surprises and treats!  I had a wonderfully fun time!!
And actually that was a nice break for me, because the week/weekend before, and the rest of this weekend were actually a little rough.  My poor neighbor has started her last round of chemo, and last weekend, she sat in her car and felt a sting on her butt (of all places!), and as usual for her, she started to swell up!  She's never been allergic to bees, mind you, but because of the chemo and radiation, her immune system is way out of whack and acting completely crazy when it comes to BUGS.  She has a tick bite that is finally healing after 2+ months of being hard and swollen, and she finally got those strange itchy bumps to dry up and go away.  NOW THIS!  So I ran over there with antihistamine pills and drove her to the hospital, where we spent hours waiting for them to get things under control.  Thankfully, she was never in any real danger with her breathing, but she swelled up alot, fast, and another sting might be dangerous to her!  The next day I brought her to her doctor's office for a follow up, and then to her herbalist appointment the day after that. 

I also spent one day over there helping her can tomatoes!  She had bought a small basket of them from a local farmer, and I brought all my "stuff" over and helped her -- she got three quarts out of them and we had fun!! :-)

THIS weekend she had her chemo again, and she always has to go back two days later for a shot to boost her white blood cells, but she needed a ride this time, so Brian and I drove her.  It was deep into Charlotte, and Brian knew the way better than us (her son usually drives her).  It took them about an hour to get her registered and get the medicine delivered to the chemo ward where we were waiting.  It works quickly to make her feel awful -- like she has the flu! :-(  

Being at that hospital with her was actually really difficult, because even though it was Sunday morning, there were a few people there getting their chemo treatments.....I could see that they were sick, and one woman who came in while we were waiting looked really young, like 30s, and she had NO hair at all.  Sitting in there with these people, all struggling and fighting this terrible disease just hurt my heart for them.  As we left, walking by them, I just wanted to reach out and touch them -- squeeze their hand or rub their shoulders, or hug them.....they each smiled and nodded to Cheryl, even though she hadn't seen them before - she is one of them, part of their "club" that no one wants to belong to.  And I couldn't stop thinking about them after we were home, and I was making lunch, and planning the week -- those people STILL had cancer.  They couldn't "go home" and brush it off like I could.....they had to face it and deal with it every moment of every day.  I just felt so sad about it.  And even for my friend, although I am grateful to God that she doesn't look as sick as they did.  
 
So I prayed for them when I couldn't shake the little creeping sadness I felt, and I prayed for them today too, when I prayed for my friend.  And maybe if any of you reading this wouldn't mind, YOU could add them to your prayers as well, if you think of it.  Then a whole bunch of new prayers will go out for them, from people they don't even know! :-)

Anyway, this week I am looking forward to a NOTHING/NOWHERE week -- that means I have NOTHING that I must do, and NOWHERE that I must go, for the whole week!!  YAY!  Maybe I can get going on the rest of my kitchen painting....????  UGH!  I told my Duntie Elaine that I need to get it done so I don't have to turn 45 with my kitchen still unfinished!!!!!! :-D
I also want to post those pictures that got lost in that doomed post of mine -- I promise to try to do that this week!
 
I wish you all a wonderful week, my blogging friends!!! ^-^

Friday, October 4, 2013

It's MY BIRTHDAY!!!! YAY!!!!!

I LOVE my birthday!!!! :-D

I don't know why......it doesn't matter whether I get presents or parties or birthday wishes or not, I still walk around ALL DAY with a happy smile on my face that it's MY birthday!!!! :-D
I think it's because I feel like it's my own special day, every October 4th for the past 44 years has been MY OWN day!!!  See how exciting that is....?!!! :-D  Everyone should LOVE their birthday!!!!!

I was born during the Vietnam war, so my dad was drafted and moved my mom from Massachusetts to Fort Hood, TX, where I was born.  And unknown to both of us, my dearest Brian lived just about an hour away from me in TX my whole first year that we lived there (he was 7)......isn't that SO amazing?!!!  I love thinking about the coincidence of that!  Of course, he loves to tell me that I'm really a southern girl, NOT a Yankee, but I'll never agree with that!!! Haha!


I remember feeling SO fancy in this next picture (LOL).....

Here I am at 20 in 1989, with my so-fashionable feathered hair......


Then each of my babies followed, and I didn't care about my hair anymore (:-D)......


And now today, with my yummy Triple Chocolate Cake with ice cream and chocolate sauce, ALWAYS my favorite, and each of my babies still with me (and I wish I cared about my hair again, because it's a little messy here!)......

I am SO excited to be 44, and thankful to God that I am healthy and happy with my life, with so much family to love and friends (online! :-D) to bring me joy!!!! ^-^

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Such a SPECIAL DAY for Me!!!!


This past weekend was my oldest child's birthday......my son turned 19.....HOW is that possible???? :-D

The special thing about having my Jonathan, besides him being my first, was the way my eyes were opened to how everything I had always thought was SO important -- WASN'T!!  And when he was born, I realized that being a mother was the only thing I EVER wanted to BE, forever!!!

It was what I was MADE for! :-)

 

I am SO delighted with my dearest, oldest boy!!!  I THANK GOD for the gift of him! ^-^



NOW I want to CRY!!!!

Notice anything strange about my last post....????  Like how there is NO TEXT OR PICS with it...????

MY WHOLE POST IS GONE!!!! 

HOW does that happen in a blogging program???  I hit "publish" when I was done, but instead of posting everything I had spent hours on, it erased everything....?  It's not even in my drafts -- it's ALL GONE!

OH!!  I am SO frustrated right now, I had all kinds of pictures and updates and things I posted about, now I can't even remember half of them! :-P
And I really liked this post.....I was just about to read it again now, only to see it's NOT HERE!!!  GRRRR!!!!

Ok, well, I apologize for this and any confusion -- I'm going to have to start over with it all, so that might take another few days..... I have another quicker post I want to write first, so I'll post that one next and then try to duplicate the other one.  UGH!!!   I am very angry at blogger right now!!! >:-{


Thursday, September 19, 2013

But.....I Don't PLAY Tennis...!!!!

Ok, my diagnosis is TENNIS ELBOW! LOLOL
So since I'm NOT a tennis player, I'm going to have to assume that there must be alot of tennis players who are painting and sanding around their homes, in order to get the same diagnosis as me.....right?!  I think this should be called "Renovator's Elbow/Arm"!!!  Why should TENNIS PLAYERS get all the glory??? :-D

Ok, I'm finished amusing myself!! Hee hee hee! :-D

I was right that I have a pinched nerve/nerves in my elbow now that are affecting my arm, hand and fingers, and I need steroids for it.  He offered me a SHOT, but I'm a little squeamish about steroid shots (after a bad experience a few years ago), so we started with the pills.  I also got a "splint" for my arm, which is really only an adjustable band to wear right below my elbow.  Do you know, I felt a difference immediately with that on?  Amazing!!

I started the pills this morning - two a day - and I've already finished two nagging jobs I had to do!  These things give me such energy!!!  I'm lucky, because I've known people who feel sick and awful on them.  I think because I have a HYPOthyroid (so consequently, my hormones are always a little low), infrequent steroid use gives me a boost!!  YAY!!! :-D
I'm not hopping around the house yet, but I am starting to feel warm (and I'm normally always COLD), so I foresee an active weekend for myself.....I've already gotten into my mountainous need-to-sew pile!  I would love just to get the motivation and energy to FINISH some projects this week -- wouldn't that be so awesome?!!!

Ok, well, I'm off to make a list!  I'll keep you posted!! ^-^ 

Monday, September 16, 2013

I'm Still HERE!!! :-D

Hello, all my dear online friends/followers!!!
I have NOT fallen off the face of the earth......! :-D

However, I have several things going on that are preventing me from being online for the past few weeks --- my internet wires are going up (YAY!!!), so we've had on and off internet for two weeks so far, but the biggest snag in my happy, productive life is.....my ARM.

Remember how I pulled a muscle in it all those weeks ago???  Well, it has never healed right -- it always hurts, I can't lift or hold things well, I can't move my hand and wrist without hurting it, and even when I lay it still it throbs and pinches!  And it's my RIGHT arm, and I'm right-handed!! :-P 
So I am going to my doctor this Wednesday to see what can be done about it.  It's VERY sore at my elbow, I can't even press on it, which makes me think that I have some inflammation there that is pinching the nerves in my forearm.  I've tried lots of pain relievers, even a few low-dose prescription pills, but it just doesn't work -- it always hurts.  And it's interfering with my life!!!!  I have canning to do, and cleaning, and PAINTING.....!!  Even now I must stop typing every sentence to rub it and put the heating pad on it because it's aching all the way into the palm of my hand!  SHEESH!! :-P

So, again, I have not even started any projects around here!  I've been able to do some canning -- tomato soup and garlic-dill pickles (YUMMY!) -- with my boys' help, and I need to make salsa now!!  I'm going to wait until after my appointment, though.  I'm hoping that he will give me steroids (that will permanently fix it), because those always get me excited and moving around!! LOL  I don't sleep much now, but when I took some steroids a few years ago, I was like Wonder Woman! :-D 
Boy, I could use some of that energy now (not to mention my arm feeling better!)!!!

I have a few pictures I could post, but they aren't very exciting, so I'm going to post a few of my favorite PINTEREST pictures...... Oh, I've been thoroughly enjoying Pinterest whenever I can get on there!!!!
LOOK at this chair!!!!  I LOVE it so much -- it was built around 1700!  WOW!! 
pssst!: I think I'm going to try to make a chair like this.....! ;-)

I LOVE this corner -- look at all the WOOD!!  The walls are what really caught my eye.....I so much want to figure out how to do that type of wall-treatment!  I'm just so scared to try it!!  I've GOT to get brave after my arm is better!

I really LOVE this idea for my bedroom -- I don't have a four poster bed, but we could make something to hang curtains like this to get the cozy effect!  I LOVE how this looks!!!

I told Brian I SO MUCH want this kind of blanket chest!!!!  Maybe he could make it....??  But I'd love to find one for real, in my price range!  Ok, well, he'll probably have to make it!! LOL  But I'm going to keep searching.....! :-D

I LOVE LOVE the fabrics used on these books!!!  They look so old and grungy, and the twine tying them together is the perfect touch!  Time for a trip to my fabric store.....!

These short, rustic stick-fences are SO NEAT!!!  I have to find a place for them in my yard somewhere!  Lowe's (and I'm sure Home Depot) sells the thin, pointed sticks very cheaply in bundles!!

Here is something else I simply MUST have in my yard!!!  This should be relatively easy, as soon as I find the right tree....!  I bet it's around here somewhere!! :-D

*Sigh!* I am developing a real obsession with these fabric fruits/veggies that some people are making now.....look at how gorgeous these are!!!  I LOVE the fabric choices, and the dried tendrils of hay or sweet annie (or something), and how they made them look so dusty/grungy!  I need to figure out how to make these, too!!

Here is the last picture I want to show you guys -- LOOK at this wonderful porch scene!!!!  I love it SO much!  The stool with the bowl on it, the wire basket, the rocker, but especially that long wooden piece and the dried hanging "weeds"!! (I love dried weeds, I have them all over the house! LOL)  I also think hanging the lantern on it adds so much to the rustic look!  WONDERFUL!!!! :-D

I hope you all enjoyed these pictures!!  They are all on my Pinterest board, "Primitive Displays that Inspire Me!", if you want to follow their links or see who else pinned them (that's what gets me into so much trouble on there -- clicking on other boards! LOL)
Sometimes Pinterest can make me feel unhappy.....like, I want to CREATE these looks in my own home, not just PIN them and look at them on my computer!  Hopefully after Wednesday I'll be able to start DOING some fun things again.

WISH ME LUCK!!!!! :-)  I'll post that night to tell what happened, unless they do something mean to me and I'm too sore.... :-(

But I'm hoping to be much better after Wednesday!  Keep your fingers crossed for me!!! ^-^