Pat has had a hard time since her surgery. She was supposed to be released last week, but complications started almost immediately. The most serious was fluid in her lungs, which they thought might be pneumonia, so they whisked her right away for xrays/scans and to take a sample of the fluid. We were so relieved it wasn't pneumonia, and she started feeling better two days ago, and started eating better. Then her doctor told her that the cancer was actually a "very treatable" kind, and I started to have some hope that she would have a miracle and God would let me have her with me for awhile longer.
Then.....TODAY......the pathology came back on the fluid in her lungs.....
There are cancer cells in it.
So now the doctor said there is basically nothing else they can do for her. Her cancer is Stage 4.
I can't imagine the mood in her hospital room right now. How do we wrap our minds around this? How do we COPE with this reality??? HOW does someone feel healthy and happy with their life in the beginning of October and end up with a death sentence 6 weeks later?
She may never even leave the hospital.
My heart feels like it's been brutalized, aching so deeply I can hardly breathe.
I can't believe that this is happening to us, to her. It's not true! It CAN'T BE TRUE.
I'm still waiting to talk to her -- I called and left her a message as soon as my sister called me with the news, but I'm sure she isn't ready to talk to me yet. All we can do is cry together.
I will be going up there as soon as I know what is going to happen next -- will she stay in the hospital? Will she feel good enough to go home for a while? Should she have hospice care yet?
I don't want to get in the way of anyone while I'm up there, I just want to BE with her and hold her hand, and do anything she asks me to. That's my prayer now......that God will allow me to be with her, if only for a little bit, and be a blessing to her.
PLEASE, Lord! Let me have that one last connection with her, one more memory for me to savor!
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, EVERYONE for your comments and emails of love and support for me. They mean SO MUCH to me, and are so comforting to me! I treasure every one, and I treasure ALL my blogging friends, even those who don't comment but are still praying and thinking of me! I wish I could put into words how wonderful you all are to me. THANK YOU!