Monday, November 11, 2013

It Cannot Get Any Worse......

Pat has had a hard time since her surgery.  She was supposed to be released last week, but complications started almost immediately.  The most serious was fluid in her lungs, which they thought might be pneumonia, so they whisked her right away for xrays/scans and to take a sample of the fluid.  We were so relieved it wasn't pneumonia, and she started feeling better two days ago, and started eating better.  Then her doctor told her that the cancer was actually a "very treatable" kind, and I started to have some hope that she would have a miracle and God would let me have her with me for awhile longer.

Then.....TODAY......the pathology came back on the fluid in her lungs.....

There are cancer cells in it.
So now the doctor said there is basically nothing else they can do for her.  Her cancer is Stage 4.

I can't imagine the mood in her hospital room right now.  How do we wrap our minds around this?  How do we COPE with this reality???  HOW does someone feel healthy and happy with their life in the beginning of October and end up with a death sentence 6 weeks later?

She may never even leave the hospital.

My heart feels like it's been brutalized, aching so deeply I can hardly breathe.
I can't believe that this is happening to us, to her.  It's not true!  It CAN'T BE TRUE.

I'm still waiting to talk to her -- I called and left her a message as soon as my sister called me with the news, but I'm sure she isn't ready to talk to me yet.  All we can do is cry together.

I will be going up there as soon as I know what is going to happen next -- will she stay in the hospital?  Will she feel good enough to go home for a while?  Should she have hospice care yet?
I don't want to get in the way of anyone while I'm up there, I just want to BE with her and hold her hand, and do anything she asks me to.  That's my prayer now......that God will allow me to be with her, if only for a little bit, and be a blessing to her.
PLEASE, Lord!  Let me have that one last connection with her, one more memory for me to savor!

THANK YOU, THANK YOU, EVERYONE for your comments and emails of love and support for me.  They mean SO MUCH to me, and are so comforting to me!  I treasure every one, and I treasure ALL my blogging friends, even those who don't comment but are still praying and thinking of me!  I wish I could put into words how wonderful you all are to me.  THANK YOU!


  1. Lisadiane:
    You will not be in the way. Go now; as soon as you are able. As I go about my life, I will "lift you up in prayer". You know that you can always email me, if you need to reach out to someone other than family. ~ Cheryl

  2. Big hugs for you friend.You know I'm praying. Amy

  3. So sorry to hear this news. You definitely need to go and be with Pat.
    Sending loving hugs and praying for you,

  4. Lisadiane, my heart goes out to you and your family at this very stressful time. But never give up hope. Is there any way you can get Pat to a cancer center or to another hospital for a second opinion? Pat's and my sister's experience sound very similar. My sister was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer in September 2012 and after 3 surgeries, chemo, and with the grace of God, she is doing amazingly well! She also had cancer cells in the fluid in her lungs. Her lungs also kept filling up with fluid so her doctor performed a pleurodesis. That stopped her lungs from filling up. After that surgery she could breathe easier and she got stronger which helped her get thru her chemo. The chemo shrank the tumors in her abdomen. She then had the 'debulking' surgery where they go in and remove all the visible cancer tumors. She is now on a chemo maintenance program where she has it once a month for a year which will hopefully keep the cancer in check or, God willing, kill it completely. I know no two cancers are the same but I think it's worth a second opinion. Pat's life is worth a second opinion. I will keep Pat and you in my prayers.

  5. I will certainly be in prayer over Pat's health issues and for her family and friends but I hope someone is praying WITH Pat. I know, for myself, that I find such comfort and peace hearing the actual words of petition to our wonderful Savior. There is such a deep connection made when holding hands and praying together that comes when the Lord has gathered with His children. May the Lord grant healing and comfort to Pat and may she feel the warmth of His presence and love all about her. I will be on my knees for her this week. Much love to you all.